The gullible Mallu
Maybe I look very gullible.Maybe I have those unsuspecting looks that every network marketeer looks for.Or may be a few words of flattery are enough to make me feel like a king.
It was an ATM queue.Thoughts like “damn India’s population”, “Why would everyone in Koramangala want to withdraw money NOW?”, “Why cant this stupid bank have more ATMs?”were moving in and out of my head.Suddenly this guy next to me started chatting up.And I would not mind talking to stranger to kill time in a queue.He introduced himself as a techie with an Indian IT company(ya, the one powered by brains driven by something else…).The queue was long enough… he could have as well given a dissertation on Nano technology.Comments like even I wanted to do an MBA sometime..I am preparing for CAT, wanted to check something with you and all were sprinkled in his talk.(Yes! I am getting a bakra, I felt)
He did shower occasional praises at MBAs, how good they were. And about my B School, which was more than an an ego massage for me.Somewhere in the middle, we exchanged phone numbers.So what?
Dang! I get a call from him in two days about his entreprenuerial venture and how he wants an intelligent MBA like to help him out.It revolved around how I can multiply my money in this “novel” venture and make it rich during my free time.I politely declined.
Moral of the story.Dont give your number to strangers.
At a bakery closeby.
My company id card hanging down my neck clearly says I am with HP.Someone next to me.”Oh you work with HP?,Great yaar”
A sudden boost to my esteem.My head held higher.Ego,pride and similar feelings sky rocket.With a tinge of arrogance, I say,”Ya, I am with HP”.
Oh, software? He asks.
He:Wow! MBA….good man!
He:I am with XYZ soft.
Me:[General questions to acknowlege the attention I got and the to send a I am a KNOW ALL feeling]“What is your profile like?,which vertical”?
Out of nowhere he tries to hijack the conversation.
He:”I think we should exchange numbers”
Me:[Ok.Chance to throw my visiting card at someone]Take my card.
Two days passed.
“Hi, remember we met at the bakery…how are you doing…have you had dinner…?”
So many questions all in one shot, to strike a conversation.
I am like, okay…what do you want(in a polite manner though)
“See, apart from my work we do some work in ________________ area and would want highly motivated and intelligent people like you to join us. I am sure you have some time to spare.Why don’t we meet sometime at ______”
Me:Thanks, but I am not inerested.
The funny thing is the same guy caught me again, stuck a conversation at the bakery and took my number.
This time I was sure, he was going to call in a day’s time. I waited for the happiness of fooling someone.
He called, I said, Sorry I am not interested.
It did not end there,another guy at the same bakery.
“Oh you with HP, I am with SAP”
Me:Great! I am into Analytics(jus’ show off)
2 mins into the conversation,the routine exchange of numbers happened.
I was hopeful, this guy was not a Network marketing guy.Hope,ya, jus hope.
I got a call from him, when I was out of town.Cell on roaming. No chance of me picking the call..ha ha ha!
Met the guy after a couple of days in the same bakery.”I tried calling you, he said”
Me:I was not in town
Me:I am in a hurry, bye.
He calls that evening.
Same old stuff. Plus,”We have some guys from IIMA and IITs who have joined us and they are doing exceedingly well”
Me:Good for them
Me: Sorry not interested.
Now that I am used to such marketing or rather lack of it, I act like am an easy prey to such tricks.Like, I am all set for businesses that can help your money grow at 100 times the GDP growth!
A week back.
A well dressed guy.Same bakery.
Me:(In full “attitude” ishtyle”)Original HP, I work with HP
He:Great.I thought its a Samsonite
Me:Its worth more.
He:So, you into software
Me:I am into something that is neither software nor call center, still IT/ITES.Its called Analytics.I am an MBA …from ….SIBM.
He:I am with _____. Was with Oracle for 5 years. I am from _________.
(When is he asking my number?? ask ask!! )
He:I am Harit
He:Think, we should exchange numbers
He:This friend of mine _____ is from Symbiosis.___batch.
Me:Great!May be some other Symbi institute.Nevertheles…..
I was waiting for his call.No he did not call that day.Next day, no.
Yes, he calls!!!!
He:Hi Nikhil, this is _____…had dinner?(Hey,even my mom doesn’t care this much)
He:You must be having a lot of free time, right.
Me:mmmm…ya(so what?)My company is good that ways.
He:Ya, I know.Your company is great!
See, apart from my work, I am into…..(There you go!!!)
Me:I can’t code.
He:This is not software.But would need inputs from MBAs like you.(LOL!)
Think we should meet and discuss this over a coffee.
Me:Sorry!!! I am NOT INTERESTED.
I don’t understand if I carry myself as a probable network for these guys or I am stupid enough to exchange cards…
Anyways, their tactics SUCK to say the least. To strike a conversation with someone and then take his number and try selling the concept.
Guys, you need to revisit school.
Good luck to all MLMs,Network Marketeers and others forms of it.
Moral of the story: Talk talk to strangers or put it this way MLMs, you guys need to learn a lot.
- The world of mallu Ks
- Eavesdropping on Mallu Names
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- Bangalored Rickshaw-wallahs
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